You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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