i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
