the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Randomize
