So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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