"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
