Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize