she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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