if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
