so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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