I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
