You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
