She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
