This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
