I hate your face
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
