I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize