Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize