I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
