he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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