So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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