is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
