You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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