I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
