You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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