You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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