Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
