hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
