In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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