i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
