So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
