these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize