Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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