i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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