Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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