you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
