my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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