im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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