So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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