It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
