im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
