no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
