Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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