hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
