Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize