I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
