I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
