when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
