gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize