If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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