No awkward lesbian experiences without me
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
