Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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