I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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