You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
