We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
