My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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