Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
