I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
