She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
