You're my little dorito
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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