Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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