I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
There r osticjed everywhere
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
