It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
