That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
