im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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