I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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