this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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