he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
