Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
