tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
There's even glitter on my cock...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
