i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
